Top Ten Dumbest, Grossest, Weirdest, And Dirtiest Sounding Things That Tree Climbers Say

Are you concerned about the Tree Worker in your life?

Are they saying things that sound insane, filthy, or downright obscene?

If you spend time with arborists, you will find that a lot of the terms and phrases they use sound confusing, if not just plain wrong.

Fear not - they are not as debaucherous or crazy as they sound… Actually, they may be exactly just as crazy and debaucherous as they sound, but the terms they use from work are not what they sound like.

We are here to help you. We are breaking down some of the most ridiculous things that Tree Climbers and Arborists say.

You’re welcome.

1. Looking For A Natural Crotch

Let’s get it out of the way. Trees have crotches. A natural crotch is simply where the branch of a tree intersects with the trunk.

Arborists and other Tree Workers use the crotch of a tree to suspend themselves while climbing.

2. Hooking Up A False Crotch

Alright, now that we talked about Natural Crotches, we should also talk about False Crotches. A false crotch is any point where someone may suspend themselves on a tree, that is not a “Natural Crotch.”

3. Making A Whoopie

When your grandparents talked about “making whoopie,” they may have been telling the story of how your parents were born.

It may also sound like somebody was getting a butt whoopin’ (beating) at work.

For Arborists, “making a whoopie” is something completely different. They are referring to tying a rope around a tree or branch and tying a knot using special hardware.

4. Loopie Slinging

Loopie Slinging doesn’t sound quite as incriminating, but it still sounds a little strange.

A Loopie Hitch is very similar to a Whoopie but it doesn’t require additional hardware.

5. Snatch Blocking

Did you ever see that comedy starring John Cena called Blockers? If you did you may have the wrong idea about what Snatch Blocking may be.

In the world of climbing, rigging, and arboriculture, a Snatch Block is a type of heavy-duty pulley.

6. Measure Your Girth

They are talking about measuring the width of a tree or tree branch. It is important to know how wide the trunk of a tree is, or a branch is so you can properly make whoopie (slings)!

7. Adjusting The Monkey Beaver

This may actually be the worst of all arborist terms. This would have been #1 but we wanted to ease you into it.

A Monkey Beaver is the brand name of a climbing harness made created by New Tribe. It was supposedly given this name because arborists climb like monkeys and chop wood like beavers.

8. Liontailing

Thankfully Liontailing just sounds a little weird and confusing. It is admittedly way less gross and crass sounding than most of these other terms.

Lion Tailing is a term used for excessively pruning a tree. This goes against the principles of Plant Health Care and arboriculture philosophies.

9. Picking Out A Brain Bucket

The zombie apocalypse has not started… technically speaking.

A “Brain Bucket’ is just a colorful term for a helmet.

10. Excessive Milking

Who knows what you thought he was talking about when he started talking about the milking problems he was having at work.

Milking can mean two things for arborists - either a problem that comes up when the sleeve of a rope gets worn out and wrinkled or a process where you compress the sleeve of the rope to avoid this problem from occurring.

It’s really not that weird.

We Hope You Learned Your Lesson

The Arborist in your life is an absolute angel. It is time for you to get your mind out of the gutter and remind yourself that Tree Workers are upstanding citizens who would never do or say ANYTHING that is not completely sweet and innocent. 

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